It’s been 13 years since I planned my wedding but I remember consulting all the books about “wedding rules”. I have to say, we followed every one of the traditional rules below.
Now, I think it’s perfectly okay to break a few “wedding rules” if it doesn’t resonate with you or your fiance. Would you break any of these traditional wedding rules?
Rule No. 1: You Must Have an Even Number of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen in Your Wedding Party
We had exactly the same number of attendants – 6 each; 2 “Matron of Honors” and 2 “Best Men”. It was challenging because we wanted it to be even and not hurt anyone’s feelings. Now, I can say we may have done it a tad differently had we decided to break the rule. We’d rather not exclude a close friend or include someone we didn’t want to just to get those perfectly symmetrical sides for the pictures. Are you wondering what to do for the processional? Have each person walk down the aisle individually or have some groups of three. Have fun with it!
Rule No. 2: The Couple Should Not See Each Other Before the Ceremony
We were adamant about this rule. This tradition meant something for us so we held our ground even when relatives suggested we take pictures before the wedding to save time between the ceremony and the reception. It was a personal decision for us and I wouldn’t change it. However, it’s common for couples to arrange a portrait session before the ceremony. You both will look fresh and may get better photos. And, after the ceremony you can head straight to the reception and enjoy mingling with your guests during cocktail and hors d’oeuvres hour.
Rule No. 3: You Should Freeze the Top Layer of Your Wedding Cake to Eat on Your First Anniversary
I don’t know how people do it so that the top layer of their cake is edible after one year. We took one look at it a year later and there was no way we were going to try and consume it. LOL! If anyone has actually consumed their wedding cake one year later, after freezing and de-thawing it, please comment and let us know the result.
Rule No. 4: You Should Be Married by a Civil or Religious Authority Figure
Growing up Catholic, we were married by a Priest in a traditional Catholic ceremony in my Husband’s childhood church. But nowadays, more and more couples are choosing to have a friend or family member marry them to make their ceremony personal and meaningful. This too is an extremely personal decision (more so than whether or not you see each other before the wedding) and a rule that others may or may not feel comfortable breaking.
Rule No. 5: The Bride’s Family Foots the Bill
As a mother of a Daughter and a Son, I am open to all sorts of ideas that will not require liquidating retirement to help fund a wedding. We paid for a quite a bit of our wedding while both sets of parents helped where they could. Long long ago, a bride’s family paid the groom’s family a dowry so I’m assuming that morphed into the custom of the bride’s family paying for the wedding (or at least the vast majority of it). These days, many couples are taking on the wedding expenses themselves and/or the groom’s family is contributing. It’s all determined but each person and family’s financial situation and budget.
A wedding is a very personal thing and can be whatever you want it to be.
What wedding rules would you choose to follow tradition and keep, and which ones did you, or will you, break?
-S.O.
